Dan Fogelberg Wisdom

Along the Road: Dan Fogelberg Wisdom

Joy at the start
Fear in the journey
Joy in the coming home
A part of the heart
Is lost in the learning
Somewhere along the road
From the album, Phoenix by Dan Fogelberg, 1980

I remember leaving home in 1975 and heading to college. It was only a baby step out of the cloistered world of my childhood, as I only moved into a dormitory across town. And, even though you would think it not much of a step - from a dysfunctional home to a dysfunctional religious college - it was momentous.

The world of my childhood was one of mental illness, rage and fear. It was one of sectarian dogma where only those in my world were saved (even if just barely), and everyone else heading for hellfire. If that weren't bleak enough, I was told it was my duty to save as many of these lost souls as possible. And lest you think this a noble quest, I should point out that my ticket to heaven was punched only if I notched a sufficient number of converts on my evangelism belt. (For those of you not raised in the Bible Belt, "saving the lost" and "spreading the gospel" was sort of like activity badges earned by Eagle Scouts.) Oh, and for an even richer irony, gospel means "good news" -which is the furthest thing from the message I heard and repeated.

My world started as a very small and tightly drawn circle. It was a circle because God was a circle. It had to be drawn with a perfectly sharpened No. 2 pencil because God is into minutiae. The first godly circle had been drawn by Alexander Campbell and Barton J. Stone - the founders of the twisted, fundamentalist religion of my forebears, the Church of Christ (CofC).

And everything was a matter of life and death. Only the KJV (King James Version) Bible was approved by God. Even though King James was not CofC, and even though the original New Testament was written mostly in Greek by dark-skinned Jews, only a translation authorized by a British king some 1600 years later would get me to heaven. Obviously, then as now, irony is lost on most fundamentalists.

But, beginning in 1975, as I left the tiny circle of my home, I moved into an incrementally larger circle of the religious college, David Lipscomb College (now University) in Nashville, Tennessee. It was a campus where women were required to wear dresses or skirts to class, even though I was allowed to dress somewhat like a homeless person in old jeans and T-shirts.

This eventually was changed during my college years by the then college President, Willard Collins, who succeeded Athens Clay Pullias. Mr. Pullias was ousted for drawing his circle in a manner not approved by the church elders. I never new if he was ousted for using a pen to draw his circle, or because it was learned he was NOT a teetotaler - as required by the perfect circle.

As just a note, CofC'ers were vehemently anti-alcohol. As another irony, they changed the story of the Miracle at Cana - where Jesus turns the water into wine - into Jesus changing the water into Welch's Grape Juice. Other more sardonic explanations were that it actually was a typo in the original manuscripts, because the CofC knew Jesus turned the wine into water…

But, I digress. (I love to digress, BTW.)

During my time at David Lipscomb, I played guitar and sang Dan Fogelberg songs. Dan Fogelberg was my mentor. I parsed his songs as if they were long lost manuscripts containing ancient wisdom. Dan Fogelberg taught me to feel my feelings, which was not allowed in my previous circle.

And, only recently, have I rediscovered this song Along the Road. The past three years have been quite tumultuous for me. We moved to a new city and I began a new job. And during this time, I have changed a lot. As for most changes that are critical and important, it was neither easy nor enjoyable. And yet…

I am reminded of a verse in the Tao that reads:

The path of the Sage is called "The Path of Illumination"
He who gives himself to this path is like a block of wood
that gives itself to the chisel— Cut by cut it is honed to perfection
Tao 27

Excerpt From Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu
https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/tao-te-ching/id634588916?mt=11

Although it sounds audacious and likely terribly arrogant, I do aspire to the path of the sage. I have always known that I was born into a broken family that lived in a broken world. Most of my life, I believed that God sent his only son, Jesus, to live and die in that world to show us a better way. That belief has ebbed and flowed, waxed and waned almost as much as the tides and the moon.

Very recently, I have remembered some very important things I had forgotten. I have recovered some lost memories that are good and happy, and they have begun to balance the sad and dark memories that I cannot forget in spite of much toil and tears.

These last three years have been given to the chisel. And my wooden soul is not some unfeeling tree, but a beating and tender heart. The cuts of the master have not been easy. They have left some scars. And yet, the surgery was necessary to save the patient. The Great Physician knew his patient and the cuts were urgent and life-saving.

So, I want to agree with my mentor, Dan Fogelberg. There is fear in the journey - as much as there is joy in the coming home. But, as much as I wish it were not true, a part of my heart is lost. My innocence is lost, as is my simple trust.

In its place is a wiser and kinder heart. One that is sensitive to the pain I see, because I have my own, nagging wounds that - like Frodo's - have never really healed.

Whether I can ride into the forever sea where Bilbo Baggins and Frodo await, only time will tell. But, I am definitely hopeful that my road leads me there - or somewhere even better.

Along The Road, by Dan Fogelberg

Joy at the start
Fear in the journey
Joy in the coming home
A part of the heart
Gets lost in the learning
Somewhere along the road.

Along the road
Your path may wander
A pilgrim's faith may fail
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
Darkness obscures the trail.

Cursing the quest
Courting disaster
Measureless nights forebode
Moments of rest
Glimpses of laughter
Are treasured along the road.

Along the road
Your steps may stumble
Your thoughts may start to stray
But through it all a heart held humble
Levels and lights your way.

Joy at the start
Fear in the journey
Joy in the coming home
A part of the heart
Gets lost in the learning
Somewhere along the road



Sent from my iPad

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