The Kiss of the Spider Woman

The Kiss of the Spider Woman is a 1985 Brazilian-American drama film directed by Argentine-born Brazilian director Héctor Babenco, and adapted by Leonard Schrader from the Manuel Puig novel of the same name. William Hurt, Raúl Juliá, Sônia Braga, José Lewgoy, and Milton Gonçalves star in the leading roles. (From Wikipedia)

I'm not sure when I saw this movie. I'm not even sure where I was when I saw it. But, the one thing I will never forget is its impact upon me. I was - at the time - still a good Christian man (by most accounts) - and a husband and father who read the bible daily and attended church way too much for my own good.

And, although I had built up the formidable fortress of "right-thinking" that all good Christians must maintain, there were some hidden passageways or chinks in my armor - depending upon the metaphor you'd prefer.

Because, to be a member of any self-identified group, there is a price to pay for that solidarity and communal security - conformity.

And for any person who thinks and questions, conformity is frequently problematic. Because all groups have obvious imperfections - as they are composed of human beings who, themselves, are the most obvious imperfections imaginable.

In his book, The Courage to Be, the theologian Paul Tillich wrote provocatively about the real hero's journey - the quest for meaning. And that quest is both perilous and precarious in that we are - purportedly - the captain of that ship.

We, in some cases, exert great effort to seek our destination, plan our journey, and monitor our progress. And, if one tends towards introversion, trip management can be quite time consuming.

Tillich insightfully writes about the inevitable, inner conflict of any thoughtful person who chooses to become a member of a religious group. I struggled most of my life with the dilemma of being in a group that repeatedly and noticeably failed to follow the maxims of its founder.

Tillich further writes that even our very idea of god will someday be challenged - when the god we have constructed fails us in a time of great need. And when this happens, we will have to chose between the security of the group and the conformity it demands - or we will be forced to follow our hearts and choose that fearful thing that we know to be true - and cannot deny and remain fully human.

And here is where the role of "This Kiss of the Spider Woman" is pivotal. At that time, in the midst of the AIDS epidemic, living a somewhat secluded life of the sectarian Christian, I had only the "Billy Graham/Jerry Falwell/Jim Baker" approved version of the homosexual story.

And, into this closely guarded, regularly patrolled prison-camp of the mind and soul - like a Trojan horse or a deadly double agent - came a beautifully produced, powerfully subversive, compelling story of true courage and hypocritical mythology.

The movie's character development sets the stage with a charismatic Latin Leader (Raul Julia), imprisoned as a result of his courageous political resistance. And, into the picture and literally into the prison cell of this mythic man, strolls the most obviously gay man imaginable (William Hurt). And, rightfully so, it would suggest, was this man imprisoned - as a result of his questionable mortality and even more questionable activities.

But, the power of this movie is the plot twist I will not reveal - as I hope all of you will watch the movie.

But, every day, each of us has the opportunity to be disabused of our own personal prejudices and ignorance - just as I was almost 30 years ago. And, in the most wonderfully ironic way, my shields were circumvented and my flimsy self-righteousness was shattered.

Today, with hashtags, Reddit and Facebook, it is easier than ever to talk AT each other. It is easier than ever to label and defame and marginalize those different from us and those we fear.

The "Red Scare" of Eugene McCarthy and the John Birch Society in the 1950's are really no different than the Trump-fueled xenophobia we are seeing today. Mark Twain once said, "People change, but not much."

Yes, there are many reasons to despair, but there are equally as many reasons to hope. I can list you a hundred things in my life that worked out so much better than they should have. I can also list you a similarly long list of prejudicial thoughts and ignorant assumptions that came from my family and church and hometown that I once fervently believed that now I do not.

I once was a closed-minded, small-town boy with nowhere really to go. But today, my life is so very different than that young lad could ever have imagined. How did a fundamentalist Christian, Young Republican ever change into this?

Because, as my friend Bob Sherman often told me, the universe is constantly conspiring for your good. And so it was - and so it is.

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