INFJ

Generally, I hate labels. Liberal, conservative. Gay, straight. Labels in most cases shrink reality and simplify truths that cannot be. Today, for some, even gender labels are too restrictive. If we are honest with ourselves, we are so complex, so variable, it might be more accurate if all of us referred to ourselves with the "Royal We".

Recent studies focused on the biome of bacteria living in our digestive systems (i.e. - gut bacteria) seem to suggest that these living organisms secrete hormone-like chemicals that can impact everything from hunger to sex drive. And yet, I normally refer to myself as I or me, not they or us.

And so I am reminded of the paradox that I am - that you are - that we are. Yes, I am me, but what about all those who have invested in me along the way? To what extent are parts of them affixed to - inserted into - infused into my psyche?

But, I must admit, as an INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judger), the Meyers-Briggs nomenclature is pretty close to perfect. The most recent test informs me that I am slightly introverted over extroverted, moderately intuitive over sensing, moderately a feeler over a thinker, and moderately a judger over a perceiver. As a side note, back in the day, I have previously been an INTJ, and ENTJ. Again, so much for truth in labeling…

Why do we label? Sometimes, it is merely for convenience and communication. Certain plants are poisonous, while others are not. Obviously, quicksand verses sandy beach is a needed distinction.

But I expect that more times than not labels are meant to narrow, assign, demean and marginalize. Blonde bimbo is certainly a more powerfully destructive label than merely attractive blonde.

And when it comes to sexual preference, labels are even more difficult. Same-sex couple seems preferable to gay couple or lesbian couple. But when I realize no one refers to me and my wife as a different-sex couple, I do become suspicious of the label's intent.

And, as I sit at the beach and look at the wind-whipped waves, are they challenging or dangerous? To some of the wind-surfers on the water yesterday, they seemed more challenging to them than the danger they would present to me.

So, labels also require context and a clear understanding of their intent. On some cable news channels, the pundits switch so frequently between useful labels and pejoratives, it is dizzying to the initiate.

So who am I? Who are you? We also label ourselves - and sometimes detrimentally so. Am I old and gray or seasoned and experienced? Am I tired and jaded or merely wise? The problem with labels is not only their imprecision, but also their limitations.

Were America's founding fathers patriots or terrorists? Your answer certainly depends on your nationality. History is fraught with labeling limitations. It is useful to remember than - had the Allies (a context-dependent label) not been victorious in World War 2, then the Axis Powers (label) would surely have had cause for a war crimes tribunal for the fire-bombing of Dresden or possibly the large loss of civilian life that resulted from the Atom bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Oh, and lets not forget genocide. Remember the Trail of Tears? The forced relocation of a peaceful people to a desolate and different land? Native Americans label white Americans far differently than we consider ourselves.

So, a word of caution. Are you familiar with term "due diligence?" Merriam-Webster defines the term as "the care that a reasonable person exercises to avoid harm to other persons or their property." Closely aligned seems to be the concept of "required disclosures". One would not want to buy a home without them.

Because if we are serious about honest communication, not only must we exercise care in our communications, but we must also be open and honest about the multitude of life experiences that have produced the current version of us.

For those that know me, there are no required disclosures as to my past membership in a Christian Cult. To my immediate family, there is no need to remind them of a childhood with a bipolar mother and an emotionally stunted, workaholic father. And to my dearest friends, they know that my passion for the protection of children stems from my own abuse as a young boy.

But, as you read this, it is a challenge for you to know the multitude of me - and the complexity and variability that informs almost every word I write.

And, maybe, a prerequisite (a thing that is required as a prior condition for something else to happen or exist) to any discussion is simply an awareness of all that I have written above.

Humility (a modest view of ones importance) and kindness (the quality of being generous and considerate) are prerequisites.

The lack of either or both of these - is a required disclosure.

59° Cloudy
1 Ocean Blvd, Atlantic Beach, FL, United States

Sent from my iPad