fire in the hole

and i'm sitting here thinking
and even more so feeling
and at the same time marveling
at the wonder and depth and mystery the almost
inexplicable fragility of this momentary clarity that has
graced me like a sprite or a forest nymph that appeared
in the mist and obscurity of everyday
the incessant stream of light and noise and birth and death
that is this thing
this messy mess the crazy sanity that has
evolved into that possibly remains as a
simple result from the loss the deconstruction the
decision to choose rather than be chosen by others with whom
i remarkably disagree
and that most unlikely interim end is the now that is and the now
i relish and the now in which i revel
more intentional and more radically unexpected if only
you knew as i do the dragons that stood
that flew that breathed fire unspeakably hot
down my neck and at other times in my very bones
a fire so hot i often feared i would die before it cooled
and again i remember my point
how damned unexpected it all has become
as if up were down and
in were yes and no was out the fight i hated the fire i feared
has become an unlikely friend
as Moriarty made Holmes
i marvel at the me that is
and that is what i hope to leave you
just that whisper of wishing that
hint of humility that is an itch or a twitch or
a persistent question that can never fully be answered to
anyones satisfaction
it is that we do not know the how or when
even though we do
it is the never grasping the never owning the
preciousness we can never really lose
no one can take it away if we want to keep
that pure and holy essence of what is good and
right and lovely in us all
that part that none can take from us but that
unimaginably we can choose to cast away
it is that deep and constant and quiet center that is
the core of all that is bright in this very dark world

"and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make."
The Beatles
dg
3/4/12