Afraid to feel

The thing I resent most
The afterbirth I cannot seem to bury
The hangover of childhood abuse
I cannot seem to shake
No matter how much espresso
Is the sheer terror of remembering
And in the recall
All the related feeling

The undercurrent fear of
Unrestrained power
Has shaped my intimacies
My parenting
My career
As I contemplate yet another
Court date
An ex-wife who will not relent
I have a choice
Every moment
Between
Love and fear

Maybe that is the lesson
I must soon learn
Maybe this is the only good
I will ever see from
A faraway and indifferent god

The only words I can remember
Angels ever having said
To cowering souls like me
Fear not

dg

2/27/11

Sent from my iPad
http://jdavidgamble.blogspot.com/

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