OMG!!

Radnor Lake, Nashville, Tennessee. taken 11/1/09 @ 12:17 PM.

do i believe in God, you say? do i believe in Jesus, you ask? it depends, i reply.

if by God you mean an angry god who is vengeful and angry - and ever-looking for people to punish - then, no, i do not. i once did, but - thankfully - i am no longer so weighed down and fearful.

if by Jesus you mean American Christianity - espoused by TV preachers or neo-con Republicans demanding obedience to their narrow idea of holiness - one that debases everyone (but especially women, gays and illegal immigrants - then no.

but if you by God you mean the joy i felt when my first daughter was born and i held her - only 5 minutes old - in my trembling hands. or if by God you mean the mercy and kindness i have been shown by good friends and lovers when i was desperately in need of it. or if by God you mean the growing capacity for love and forgiveness in my own heart - then, yes, of course i do.

and if by Jesus, you mean the man of sorrows who saw a suffering world and chose to enter it and to love it - in spite of being killed by it. or if by Jesus you mean the man who saw the unfolding story of the Good Samaritan - and recounted the truth in a timeless parable so as to teach us that love & mercy are always right in God's eyes - and any law or legalism that negates them is morally wrong.

or if by Jesus you mean the man that saw through the false spirituality of Simon the Pharisee and also saw through the facade of worldliness into the purity of purpose within the heart of the woman in Luke 7 - who washed Jesus' feet with her tears. if you mean this Jesus, then yes, i do believe.

faith once meant that outward expression of an inner devotion to God. to the qualities of godliness to which we should all aspire. now, faith has been perverted into meaning strict adherence to a specific set of principles, or even a blind obedience to a common dogma. and, i believe that this brand of faith violates the integrity of the individual heart that God respects - even if his self-proclaimed defenders - do not show such respect...

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