caller id?

10/15/09
very odd. a call to my room at 11 PM and 4:30 AM. both times, the caller simply said "Time to wake up!" in a very cheerful voice, and then, hung up.

was it a crank call - or some sort of cosmic warning from the universe?

i am reminded of all those years of sleep walking. all those years of living a nightmarish dream from which i could not awaken.

back then, i didn't even know what "awake" looked like. back then, i defined awake as only the progressive degrees of drowsiness.

what is the cure for such a sorrowed slumber? even more important, yet, is how does the infected patient even become aware of their pitiful state?

i wish i could tell you that it was a flash of enlightenment that arrived in Hollywood fashion - accompanied by soaring soundtrack and dramatically increasing light. but, it was not so for me, and i doubt it ever would be for any one.

instead, as one who struggles to shake off the cobwebs of a hangover or the patient who - after serious surgery - slowly regains consciousness after prolonged anesthesia, my moment of awakening came slowly and with much effort.

there were several, smaller flashes of that future brightness along the way to encourage my weary soul to persevere. but in the end, the only explanation i can confidently offer you is something completely outside myself that drew me.

like the massive unexplained energy of the cosmos that is the destination to which all the known galaxies are flying, i - like them - moved at ever increasing speed towards you. together, we moved towards our common destinies that we both needed so much.

and then, at the perfectly appointed time, our trajectories crossed. and, like the two celestial bodies that we are, our cosmic mass had grown sufficiently to effect the mutual attraction - the gravity of purpose and destiny that merged our paths into one.

Einstein's theory of relativity is so massive in scope, and so elegant in its intricacies, that years later it is still being studied and confirmed.

and, i - we - need a theory of similar span to explain our singular lives that are now together. how did i - how did you - move from darkness to light? how can one who has long been asleep finally arise, awaken, and walk?

i have long pondered - and will continue to ask - how such lovely things occur. As of today, i have only one answer. three words, but only one answer.

it is love. it is mercy. it is grace.