object permanence

the blushing clouds - animated by the burning, rising sun - remind me of the wonderful beauty, the mysterious rhythm of life.

i have no idea as to how it all works. i've not seen the ultimate end of days. but, i am learning that i am not meant to know tomorrow. i am not intended to know later today. all i know is now. all i can see is the beauty that surrounds me. all i must accept is the sometimes absence of beauty that must be endured until - by mercy or grace - the beauty returns and my soul awakens.

you might question my use of the word endure. but it is apropos, because as far as beauty is concerned, i seem to lack the assurance of object permanence. like the toddler who cries when the ducky disappears behind mommy's back, the fragility of beauty worries me - so that when the sun hides behind thick dark clouds, i fear she might not return - forever hidden from my grieving eyes.

you might say it is infantile or juvenile or simply foolish of me to show such concern - confident you are of the sun's return. and you may be right. i cannot say.

but this i know without a doubt. because i fret the sun's returning, i savor each day of her visitation. the continued loss of her beautiful rays requires that i cherish each hour's warmth. the impending night guarantees - i will rejoice and sing, dancing to the sun - unrestrained in her light.