Allow

Tao 29

Allow your life to unfold naturally
Know that it too is a vessel of perfection
Just as you breathe in and breathe out
Sometimes you're ahead and other times behind
Sometimes you're strong and other times weak
Sometimes you're with people and other times alone
To the Sage, all of life is a movement toward perfection
So what need has he for the excessive, the extravagant, or the extreme?

Excerpt From: Tzu, Lao. "Tao Te Ching." Jeremy P. Tarcher/penguin, 2008-01-10. iBooks.   

"Allow your life to unfold naturally" - seems simple enough. And yet… And yet this has been possibly the most difficult of life's lessons for me to learn. A younger version of me often said that I would rather hear God say "no" than to say "yes, but wait."

I'm not sure when I became so impatient. As a child, I was often content to play for hours with the most simple of things. Sticks, mud, or Matchbox cars. I had no expectation of fast or slow, no experience with unrequited love or desire unfulfilled. Now, in my 60th year, I am beginning to learn this lesson of allowing (better late than, never I suppose.)

Last evening, sitting in a chic hotel room, I remembered all of the times I had seen beautiful things, crafted things, and wished I could afford them. I am not being snobbish here, but my mother was right when she said that I "had champagne tastes, but a beer pocketbook." I don't know if it is snobbish to admire and even require a certain aesthetic in life. Beauty in nature is free, but beautiful and elegant designs are not.

But, yesterday, in our hotel room, (a 21c Museum Hotel), I had a piercing moment of recall and reflection. I remembered all of the former times I had wanted a beautiful sofa or painting - and realized it was completely out of my reach. But now, it has been made available.

I also remembered all of the loveless nights lying in bed with a now ex-wife, and wondering why love had been denied me.

Now, I have most everything I have ever wanted. Love, a beautiful home, and meaningful relationships with family and friends.

Why now? Why not then, and then, and then? Only Heaven knows, I suppose. Maybe it cannot be known.

But, verse 29 of the Taoteching certainly is relevant. Allow. Allowing is not striving. Allowing is not pushing or pulling. Allowing is wu wei - the ancient art of "not doing". Lao Tzu, wrote "Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished."

Even Jesus spoke of a type of allowing in his Sermon on the Mount. In Matthew, chapter 6 he said:

"So then, don't worry saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear?' For the unconverted pursue these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But above all pursue his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. So then, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own."  

Of course, I do worry. And probably, you too, do the exact opposite of "don't worry." We somehow feel that worrying is required for adulthood - as if worrying is the same as caring. It is not.

Worry actually is a sign of faithlessness - according to Jesus. Worry means I do not trust - I cannot allow. I must DO - as if somehow that ensures success.

Allow your life to unfold naturally… Maybe, now, with more years behind me that in front of me, maybe now I can begin to learn to allow. Maybe now, I can really begin to live life as it is meant to be. Maybe…

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