Day One Entry: Dec 3, 2015

Insanity

Albert Einstein, possibly the greatest mind of the 20th century, developed his famous "Theory of General Relativity". This theory deals primarily with space, time and matter - and how time itself is actually relative, not fixed.

But, Einstein also did not shy away from the occasional opining on other matters important to him (hence the quote above).

Yesterday, 14 people were killed in San Bernardino, California by a man and wife team armed with assault rifles and body armor. Last week, an angry middle-aged white male shot 12 people, killing 3.

And, depending on when you read this (this all happened in late 2015), you are either non-plussed or shocked. I, myself, am both.

Unfortunately, it seems that we, Americans, somewhat like that eponymous frog in the frying pan, are rather oblivious to the insane level of gun violence in our nation. The incremental rising of the toll - and its constancy - has numbed us to the insanity of it.

And yet, one could replay the arguments from the previous century when the first weapons ban was enacted - and both sides of the argument are merely repeating that dog-eared script.

But we should neither be surprised or self-righteous as we consider. Because this nation of 300 Million or so souls is surely a reflection of us.

Everyday, we are working ourselves, or eating ourselves, or drinking ourselves or worrying ourselves - to death.

As our waistlines expand, our love for life contracts, and our lives settle into the comfortable routine of the workhorse - faithfully walking in circles in our daily grind.

If we were to inquire of that horse, we might find one with a zen-like resignation who somehow sees the bread and pastries that result from his daily labor. Or, more likely, we would find a bitter, disillusioned nag - who blames the man or the job or the world for his never-ending journey that never leaves where he is.

And so it is with us. We sometimes forget that once we were free in the fields of youth - where anything seemed possible and time was a luxury. For whatever reasons, we have settled in for the night - even though the sun is still high in the sky.

It is said that circus elephants are always chained when first enslaved with the thickest of steel. And yet, by the time they are older, even the most flimsy rope with hold them - as they long ago learned that "resistance is futile".

Where are we, then - and where are you? Are you happy? Are you free? Are you awake enough to even answer the question?

Unfortunately, I lived the first half of my life in a sleepwalk of obligations. My word was by bond - even in those words were foolish and the bond unjust. Somehow, either by grace or by luck, I woke up one day and decided to break free.

The immediate price of such an insurrection was great. The pain of the jailbreak was immense. At times, I was quite sure I would die in the process. But I came to the point where the sliver of hope that was left - the almost dying ember of belief - decided that death during an escape was preferable to death in chains.

In many ways, I did die. The chained and deluded self had to die. Because, in a Shawshank Redemption sort of way, I realized the prison was in my mind. Even if placed into the freeman's sun, I would still walk in darkness without some serious change.

And change I did - and change, still, I do. But, my challenge today remains. Am I sane or delusional? It is sometimes hard to say…

"Alice:How long is forever?
White Rabbit:Sometimes, just one second."
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

But, what I do know, is if I keep on doing what I have always done, I will keep on getting what I have always gotten.

Change is inevitable. Growth is optional. Our slow decay into the dirt from which we sprang is pre-determined. However, the history between that first moment and the last one is infinite. As in quantum physics, there are a multitudes of possibilities in every instant. No single moment is fixed until it is observed, decided and acted upon.

Doing nothing is a decision. So is doing something. The choice is yours. Please be advised that Einstein was right. Only you can determine whether you end as a madman - or a person.

dg 

12/3/15

Sent from my iPad