sending my regrets

it is with a certain sorrow that i contemplate this fact
i am not the man i hoped to be

i had hoped to be strong and true
always there when called

i had hoped to be the "go to guy" when those i love are in need

i had hoped to be wise enough to comfort those facing pain or death

to have those words - just rightly timed - that would ease the burden they carry

i had hoped so much - had aimed so high
whether chutzpah or humility, i cannot say

i may be so vain as to have thought myself good
but on those days when my weakness shows
i accept the truth with grim repose

the challenge now is - what to do?
is there a reasoned remedy?
can i repair, can i recall all those failures most stark?

i had hoped the muse would answer me with the comforting response
"there is a way to get there yet..." but, alas, no such comfort has come

all i know is what i have
as meager as it is
i offer this in humble hope
of redemption of even this